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Bob Strauss

10 Things Megalodon Could Swallow Whole

By August 11, 2013

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To celebrate the end of Shark Week (and with a tip of the hat to David Letterman), I've decided to go the Discovery Channel route and offer a list of facts about Megalodon that may or may not be true. I've given each of the below items at least a few seconds of thought, and I've concluded that Megalodon could have (and probably did) swallow them whole.

1. A school bus
2. The starting defensive line of the Cincinnati Bengals (but NOT the starting defensive line of the Pittsburgh Steelers)
3. A smaller Megalodon
4. "Collin Drake"
5. The box of legal documents attesting to the fact that the Discovery Channel specializes in "non-fiction" programming
6. Your little sister
7. The Death Star
8. Bigfoot
9, An entire World War II Panzer corps
10. Plankton's "Chum Bucket" restaurant

Agree? Disagree? Like the Discovery Channel, I don't really care, but feel free to append your own ideas in the "comments" section below.

Photograph of Megalodon's jaws: Getty Images

Comments

August 12, 2013 at 12:58 pm
(1) V. Twombly says:

PROFIT WITH PRIDE or PROFIT WITH SHAME

The Discovery Channel’s Fake-u-mentary on Megalodon HAS swallowed a good chunk of the soft flesh of our children’s brains.

1) The use of fake scientist & lack of a proper disclaimer CONFUSES CHILDREN ABOUT WHAT IS REAL. My seven year old said he still respects “Dr. Collin Drake” (a fake) because he’s trying to make a good story. I am a PhD molecular biologist & so is this boy’s mother. We told him this show was not true, that it was fake – yet our son WANTS to believe the show is real & this fake documentary is made extraordinarily well, even including the “doubting” diver & “scientists”.

2) The use of fake scientist & lack of a proper disclaimer CONFUSES CHILDREN ON WHAT ARE CREDIBLE SOURCES OF INFORMATION because discovery did such a good job faking this.

3) The lack of a proper disclaimer IS SUCH A WASTE OF A PRECIOUS RESOURCE – OUR CHILDREN’S WONDER OF THE natural & physical WORLDS & FAITH IN WHAT THEY WATCH IS REAL.

4) By confusing fantasy with scientific realities, Discovery steals precious dopamine reserved for the excitement our children brains get when they experience an “Ah-ha” moment caused by truthful information.

Like a drug abuse, these fantasies can make truth less appealing to our children. I imagine a TV exec laughing at this, but at the pace truth & fiction are being confused, the future is less bright. A TV executive & the Discovery Channel can generate PROFIT WITH PRIDE – Megalodon is PROFIT with SHAME.
Dr Seuss had it right; “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. Itís not.” The Lorax, Theodore Geisel

Well-crafted shows on what is real are staggering enough! Discovery had done a pretty good job for years, but they may have pulled the plug for this family precious watching time & precious resource Ė a childís mind.
Discovery Channel – Apply a proper disclaimer to this show.

A concerned & sensible parent.

September 1, 2013 at 7:45 am
(2) Daisy says:

#1: if they could then they would
#2: I’m not into sports
#3: they probably did
#4: if *ANY* humans where around back then they would be eaten
#5: LOL
#6: My big brother would have a hoot!
#7: I don’t get it
#8:Oh, that’s why scientists never found him
#9: I WISH!
#10:Huh?
notice the light humor!

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